A girl on vacation..... 
That was me, in Florida at a fantastic resort in May of 2010. Before illness, medication, diagnosis, days in bed, weeks in the house... And far too many doctor's appointments. Gosh I miss it.
These past few weeks I have been "jokingly" bribing friends to send me down for an extended weekend. Who am I kidding? I need a good 5-6 days there. I need a vacation more than I need oxygen at some points. By vacation I don't mean restaurants and shopping. I'm cheap and don't have the stamina for that. I just want a beach. A room with a slider and a view of the ocean. I want to take a margarita down to the water at night, listening to the waves and look at the night sky, while I process this illness in a new setting. A setting that doesn't scream ILLNESS at every turn. And a place of peace where I don't have to feel guilty that I'm turning down my kids, again, or leaning on their dad to pick up the slack.
Just me. The waves. The sun. The sand.
And this great Mom and Pop down the road that I have gone to twice now that serves onion rings to die for. They give you enough to feed a family and charge you $4.
My heart is full of longing tonite. To be alone in room in Florida. To be hot and sweaty near the pool. To be relaxing and looking forward to a massage. To be having a cocktail on the nighttime beach.
I guess in addition to sincerely needing a vacation, part of me would love to crawl out of my body for a few days. I really would. Who would've known my last trip back there.... Right?
I've been back once since getting sick. One of my oldest and dearest had her husband cash in frequent flyer miles (he had more than he knew that to do with) to fly us first class -a big treat - stay in the hotel and rent a car all paid for by his miles! I paid for two meals the whole weekend. Not too shabby and my gratitude was oozing from my pores. The weather mostly cooperated and I only ended up in pain for half the trip but we had a gorgeous view. It was still perfection.
Thank you for experiencing this with me. Somehow it feels better getting it out.
Peace and good health...
Still Searching...
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